ANOTHER CHANGE FOR A CHANGE

SUBTLE SHADES AND COLORS OF EARLY AUTUMN ARE BEGINNING TO APPEAR

There is a question that resides permanently on my blogging doorstep.  I consciously or subconsciously deal with this issue each & every time I sit down at my keyboard to write my basically almost daily post.  Somewhere between projecting one’s inner thoughts & feelings to covering up one’s inner thoughts & feelings, there is a very thin & precarious line.  There are a few of us out here who blog right on that line. To my own chagrin, sometimes I am a frequent tumbler onto the honest side of the line & have a habit of writing about personal things occasionally that might be better left unwritten about.  But better I fee,l to be straightforward with readers as opposed to representing myself as someone I am not.  No perfect happy-happy everyday wondrously awesome life.  Right or wrong, this is a journal of my life & I lay it all out here on basically a daily basis for anyone interested enough to read it.  It’s all in print & changes daily.  Sad, glad, mad, bouncy-bouncy, happy-happy, it just routinely & unexpectedly changes daily.  And tonight………another change for a change:))

 TWO TREES SIDE BY SIDE PERHAPS

 NOPE, ONE TREE WITH TWO COLORS

Over the years, I have become increasingly aware of a slow, subtle change in myself.  It seems the less time I spend socializing with people, the more comfortable I have become with myself.  I have also noticed how my social skills have been affected.  As with any skill, practice is key to keeping it sharp.  For a carpenter, he must work at his trade in order to keep his skill level up.  Same for a mechanic, an artist, musician, surgeon, truck driver, actors, salespeople, etc.  To stay at the top of their game, they must constantly hone their skills & keep themselves up to date on the latest technologies, fashions, & any changes pertaining to their particular skills.  Interacting & socializing with people is a particular skill as well.  Some folks are very good at this & constantly work on their people skills.  And there are some people like myself who, through distancing themselves from the art of socializing, begin to lose their once keen people skills.  Does this bother me??  Yes, of course it bothers me.....sometimes. 

Feeling awkward in conversations is common for me now, and keeping a conversation flowing with people has become increasingly difficult.  My listening skills are just not often there sometimes and I find my mind drifting off & not paying attention to what is being said occasionally.  Of course, that begins the guilt merry-go-round when I feel uncomfortable at not keeping up my end of a conversation.  This then leads me right back to my comfort zone of not getting involved in conversations in the first place.  And the best way to do that?  Avoid people. 

I’m not a verbal storyteller; therefore, I do not have a lot of interest in listening to verbal stories.  And, keep in mind, that listening to a story and reading a story require different skill sets.  And, you know the kind of verbal story I am talking about, "well my brother’s best friend’s Uncle Clem knew a guy one time who lived in Goobville & had a bent paper clip collection that he kept in a green box under his double flaming orange mattress bed & only looked at it on rainy days & it doesn’t rain much in Goobville but my brother’s best friend’s Uncle Clem said this guy would turn the cold water tap on & hear the running water to remind him to get his bent paper stamp collection in the green box from out under his double mattress flaming orange bed and then he would look at his bent paper clip collection & it would remind him of the time he was a boy growing up in Blattsburg with his best friend Bubba who had a 9 foot fishing pole made of old bent & rusty car aerials & did I tell ya about the time Bubba & Clem"......... 'Awwww, knock it of, will ya'.......Aaaaaaack!!!! 

Over time & with the advent of computers & blogging, it has become increasingly comfortable for me and I’m sure many others to write about thoughts & feelings as opposed to talking about them.  I’m not an aggressive talker as a rule or one who dominates conversations anymore, but of course, there are those who may still remember me from my old ‘drinking days’ who would strongly dispute that.  However, those ‘Yakky Doodle’ days are thankfully long gone now and I far prefer the person I am today.  All be it a bit of a Cursmudgeon-like reclusive Hermit.  I am still bothered at times by my elusive ways but those bothersome times are becoming less as I gradually become increasingly comfortable in my aging understanding of self.

 A BAND OF WANDERING CORN STOCKS IN A RIPENING BEAN FIELD

 SOMETHING SURE TOOK A BIG BITE OUT OF THIS CORN FIELD

Reading this post, some may be turned off, thinking it is all about me.  Yes, it is about me, but it is as much about all the other folks like me who are out here as well.  And my life’s experience tells me there are far more people in various degrees of Invertedness than we think and know.  So when I write about these things from time to time, it is not only for me I write this, it is for all the other folks like myself who are maybe not in a position to write about their own thoughts and feelings themselves.  I know for a fact there are a lot of closet Invert personalities, some of which are forced to go to great lengths in keeping up appearances with a Rah-Rah Awesome-Awesome persona. 

 A QUIET MOMENT ALONG THE SHORES OF LAKE HURON IN GODERICH THIS MORNING

And of course, this all brings me around to the type of personality I am, neither of which is an Optimist or a Pessimist.  Yes, bits of both, of course, but I have always seen myself as a Realist and much prefer that as opposed to seeing life unrealistically as all happy-happy or gloomy-gloomy.  I have always felt I have been able to cut through much of the misleading false optimism many carry, as well as the heavily burdened pessimism many others share.  My realism does have a habit of sliding to the pessimistic side rather than the optimistic side at times and that is the depression I sometimes deal with.  Depression is a deep awareness of self & keeps one grounded in sensitivities.  Sensitivities that are sometimes not present in overly optimistic people.  

 FOR SOME AREA FARMERS, THE BEAN HARVEST HAS BEGUN

 FOR SOME OTHERS IT IS ALREADY OVER

So why am I writing all this?  Good question.  Why indeed.  I think it comes from an inner guilt feeling of trying to justify to myself why I am not on the social front lines out there.  Of course, there is a part of me inside that would like to step out of my hermit-like shell & do just that.   Or is there?  Well, there once was.  Oh, I don't know.  Even I confuse myself at times..............

Al's Music Box Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel.

GROANER'S CORNER:(( Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health, one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead."

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Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one', so when I see stupid posts, I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'.

Years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs.

I went a wise man the other day for advice and he said, "He who knows and knows he knows, knows not. He who knows not and knows he knows not, knows." I don't know who's going to do my taxes next year, but I know it won't be him again.

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Al's Doggy World

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