I'M NOT AN 8-EYED SPIDER OR A 5-EYED GRASSHOPPER

 A LATE WINTER DAY IN THE COUNTRYSIDE

With a scheduled appointment with my Nurse Practitioner and Diabetic lady at 10 this morning, I left an hour early due to weather conditions.  Our temps had dropped from 53F Thursday morning to 16F this morning, snow had fallen in the night, and westerly winds coming in across Lake Huron made driving iffy in spots. Road were bare to snow covered.  Luckily, I didn't have any problems getting to Goderich.  My diabetic numbers were mainly good, and I still remain in the pre-diabetic ranch.  However, they were very concerned about the drop in my kidney numbers.  Not good they said, and I have to go back in one month after having my blood tested again.  Maybe an anomaly, maybe not.  As long as they don't make me give up my peanut butter, I'll be alright.  Woodsy rolled in from Stratford late this afternoon.  Awww nuts, I just know she's gonna start making me eat 'green stuff' again!!  I told her that the diabetic lady told me this morning that I am not eating enough ice cream.  And that's how I got a black eye.  When I told her I was going to put that in tonight's post, I got another black eye.  I'd better quit while I'm ahead.  After all, I'm not an 8-eyed Spider or a 5-eyed Grasshopper.  And yes, Grasshoppers have 5 eyes because I checked it out on Google:))  (Of course, you do know I was kidding about the black eyes.....right??)

 ON MY WAY TO GODERICH ON A BLUSTER LATE WINTER DAY

 ON MY WAY HOME FROM GODERICH, WEATHER HAD DETERIORATED

TREATED MYSELF TO BACON  & EGGS AT A&W THIS MORNING, AND NO, YOU DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT I HAD TO PAY FOR THIS BASIC BREAKFAST....LET'S JUST SAY IT WAS ENOUGH FOR ME TO QUESTION MY OWN BASIC SANITY

 ON MY WAY HOME FROM GODERICH, WEATHER HAD DETERIORATED

Al's Art Gallery:: Traces by the Classics IV.

GROANER'S CORNER:(( Bubbles and Barbie, two sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two sisters kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up ina burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.  After a while, Bubbles says, 'Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?' Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, 'nope, not yet Bubbles'. So they row a little farther.... Again, Bubbles asks Barbie, 'Do you think were out far enough now? Once again, Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, 'No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest.' So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by, and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface gasping for breath. 'Well is it deep enough yet,Sis?' 'Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel.'

-------------------------------------

A truck brimming with Worcestershire sauce meanders through the quaint Welsh town of Llanfairpwllgwyngyll, Anglesey, en route to Rhosllannerchrugog in Wrexham. Unexpectedly, it collides with a Nissan Qashqai. Veering uncontrollably, the truck subsequently smashes into a car from Llanfihangel Tre’r Beirdd, injuring two Otorhinolaryngologists inside. As one, already grappling with Schistosomiasis, succumbs to a myocardial infarction, a bystander, dialing emergency services on his Huawei, hastily reports the chaotic scene. The dispatcher inquires, "Can you tell me what happened?" He responds, "It's hard to say."

--------------------------------

How do you keep the Little Moron busy?Give him a pack of M&Ms and ask him to put them all in alphabetical order.

--------------------------------

An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day. "I’ve got you a job," says his agent. "That’s great," says the actor, what is it?" "Well," says his agent, "it’s a one-liner" "That’s okay," replies the actor, "I’ve been out of work for so long I’ll take anything. What’s the line?" "Hark, I hear the cannons roar" says the agent. "I love it" says the actor "When’s the audition?" "Wednesday" says the agent. Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition. He marches on stage and shouts: "Hark, I hear the cannons roar". "Brilliant," says the director, "you’ve got the job. Be here 9 o’clock Saturday evening." The actor is so happy he got the job that he goes on a major bender. He wakes up at 8:30 Saturday evening and runs to the theatre continually repeating his line; "Hark, I hear the cannons roar, hark, I hear the cannons roar, hark, I hear the cannons roar." He arrives at the stage entrance, out of breath and is stopped by the guard. "Who the hell are you?" asks the guard. "I’m "hark, I hear the cannons roar." "If you’re "hark I hear the cannons roar", you’re late. Get up to makeup right now!"
So he runs up to makeup. "Who the hell are you" asks the makeup girl. "I’m "hark I hear the cannons roar."" "If you’re hark I hear the cannons roar", you’re late. Sit down here." And she applies the makeup. "Now quick, get down to the stage, you’re about to go on." He dashes down to the stage. "Who the hell are you?" asks the stage manager. "I’m "hark, I hear the cannons roar."" "You’re "hark, I hear the cannons roar?" Get out there, the curtain’s about to go up." He tears onto the stage. The curtains rise, the house is full. Suddenly there is an almighty bang behind him, and the actor shouts "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"

-----------------------------------------

Al's Doggy World

Meanings::

Al's Art Gallery