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| OUR PARK'S POND LOOKING NORTH |
After publishing Sunday night's post, I stepped out onto our back deck to look up and see if I could see the Moon. Hidden by the tall pine trees, I decided to take myself for a drive out into the countryside and stop on Stirling Line where Pheebs and I always walked on the road. No trees here to block the Moon. The night was warm with a soft breeze. So, bathed in moonlight, I took myself for a wee walk up the road and back. Leaning back against the car, I gazed up and picked out a few familiar stars and constellations. Many thoughts crossed my mind as names of the recently departed passed my lips. It was a slow, deep in thought drive home.
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| PULLING OFF THE ROAD AT OUR SPOT ON STIRLING LINE SUNDAY NIGHT |
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| IT WAS MUCH DARKER THAN THIS, SO I LIGHTENED THE PHOTO TO SHOW THE CAR |
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| 'OOOOPS' A MISFIRE REVEALS I AM OUT HERE IN MY PYJAMAS.....SHHHHHHH, DON'T TELL ANYONE |
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| CERTAINLY NOT MY BEST MOON SHOT BUT IT'S ALL I GOT |
With my bank meeting looming this morning at ten, my stomach was in knots. Being a realist, and judging from my experience with the bank this past month, I was not optimistic about the outcome of this meeting. Luckily, the fellow I met with went to bat for me and went the extra distance to straighten things out with head office to enable me to once again gain access to my online bank account. If only they had done this over three weeks ago, it would have saved me a lot of anguish. It was a partial victory because I knew when I got home and tried to access my account on my desktop computer, things could still go sideways. And, they did, but with a little persistence and patience on my part, I was finally able to find the needed verification number on my smartphone, and 'Walla' I had myself back on my bank site. I'm not celebrating yet. No, not until I have accessed my site at least half a dozen 'hassle free' times. Driving to Goderich this morning with my stomach in knots, I felt like I had been in a revolving cement mixer with a couple dozen bags of hammers these past months.
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| ON PORTERS HILL LINE I HAD TO SQUEEZE BY THIS MOBILE HOME BEING DELIVERED TO A NEARBY FARM |
Home again, and with sunshine finally breaking through the cloud cover, I headed outside and resumed the Big Clean-Up I had initiated a few months ago. I finally felt well enough both mentally and physically to get at it. And, get at it I did. Filled up two more garbage bins with discarded junk, cut down, and with my Swede saw, cut up a thirty-foot Juniper tree that the weight of this past winter's snows had bent nearly to the ground. Whacked some weeds and used my electric hedge trimmers to cut back a Virginia Creeper that was threatening to completely swallow up our metal shed. By 2 p.m. the increasing humidity drove me back into the house, where I had to toss myself into the shower for the second time today. Tomorrow, I am hoping to keep my momentum going. At the time of posting this tonight, it is raining and thundering.
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| A LITTLE FROG IN OUR FRONT YARD FROG POND TODAY |
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| I THINK THESE TWO MIGHT BE THAT LITTLE FELLER'S MOM AND DAD |
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| SOMETIMES THE FROGGIES SIT UNDER THIS SMALL WATERFALL |
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| SOME OF MY PATHS ARE BEING OVERGROWN BY FERNS |
Later this afternoon, I took myself for a walk over and around the Park's pond. Looks like there will be a new unit coming into the Park soon.
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| THE PARK'S POND LOOKING SOUTH |
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| LOOKS LIKE A NEW MOBILE HOME WILL BE COMING TO OUR PARK SOON |
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| I THINK THERE IS A RED CANOE HIDING IN THOSE SHRUBS |
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| HEARING SOME 'SHARP SQUAWKING SOUNDS' ACROSS THE POND, I SPOTTED THIS GREEN BACKED HERON |
Be warned: these shoes and socks have been vital to your identity until now, so do not deceive yourself; this will be a challenge to a true yuppie executive. They MUST be removed to move forward into the wonderful new world that awaits you.(Note: This will also work with Johnston & Murphy wingtips or those Italian loafers with those little tassels on them.)
2) Stuff silk socks in shiny shoes and drop in the garbage can.
3) *URGENT* Do not, under any circumstances, put shoes back on. You MUST remain barefoot. If you fail, return to step one. This will take discipline! This is where most would-be bubbas fail! You will be tempted to put them back on - resist this! If you have trouble, don't hesitate to call our 800 emergency number. A bona fide trained Bubba coach will help you.
4) The following is guaranteed to help bring you off your high horse in a hurry, and into the redneck world! Trust us!
Prop bare feet on polished office desk, with soles facing the open office door. Do NOT remove feet from the desk, even when co-workers, clients, and/or boss enter the office.
5) Remove cufflinks and scratch the soles of feet with them when others enter the office and during an office conference. Put cufflinks back on.
6) Use necktie to wipe nose.
7) Use tiepin and/or collar stud to clean toenails. Put tiepin or collar stud back in tie or shirt.
8) Eat lunch with knife only. Wipe dirty knife on otherwise spotless business suit.
9) Reach under suit trouser leg and scratch. Scratch under arms.
10) Open can of beer. Drink rapidly and belch loudly. Practice! Dribble on business suit. Discarded business socks may be used to wipe mouth. Repeat. Pile cans on expensive office carpet.
11) Shout with laughter for no reason.
Note: Do NOT be concerned if you experience concern about your dignity. Your dignity will soon disappear! Do not worry!
12) Place tobacco in mouth; place in back of cheek. Practice spitting streams of tobacco juice on to computer screen, or on polished office floor, or on important presentation, or in the cuffs of the trousers of your pinstriped suit. Brooks Brothers shoes may also serve as spittoon. Note: This is the ONLY time when you may retrieve shoes from garbage! See Step #3.
4) The following is guaranteed to help bring you off your high horse in a hurry, and into the redneck world! Trust us!
Prop bare feet on polished office desk, with soles facing the open office door. Do NOT remove feet from the desk, even when co-workers, clients, and/or boss enter the office.
5) Remove cufflinks and scratch the soles of feet with them when others enter the office and during an office conference. Put cufflinks back on.
6) Use necktie to wipe nose.
7) Use tiepin and/or collar stud to clean toenails. Put tiepin or collar stud back in tie or shirt.
8) Eat lunch with knife only. Wipe dirty knife on otherwise spotless business suit.
9) Reach under suit trouser leg and scratch. Scratch under arms.
10) Open can of beer. Drink rapidly and belch loudly. Practice! Dribble on business suit. Discarded business socks may be used to wipe mouth. Repeat. Pile cans on expensive office carpet.
11) Shout with laughter for no reason.
Note: Do NOT be concerned if you experience concern about your dignity. Your dignity will soon disappear! Do not worry!
12) Place tobacco in mouth; place in back of cheek. Practice spitting streams of tobacco juice on to computer screen, or on polished office floor, or on important presentation, or in the cuffs of the trousers of your pinstriped suit. Brooks Brothers shoes may also serve as spittoon. Note: This is the ONLY time when you may retrieve shoes from garbage! See Step #3.
13) Untie and remove natty silk necktie, unfasten and remove gold monogrammed cufflinks, pluck pocket square from suit, unfasten tiepin, unbutton and pull out suspenders and slide Rolex off wrist. Drop ALL items in garbage can.
14) Strip off classy, expensive tailored Armani business suit, starched shirt and designer underwear. Toss in garbage can.
Note: Removal of business suit can be traumatic for an uppity upper class businessman. It is comparable to an operation. Be prepared for shock to system.
15) Add briefcase, cell phone and day-timer.
16) Cut up credit cards and throw away wallet.
17) Cut up Ivy League degree.
18) Put on overalls. Walk around in hem to get used to your new look.
19) Practice poor posture and sluggish walk.
20) Cancel subscriptions to Wall Street Journal and New York Times. Have cable disconnected.
21) If you have not already been fired, quit high-paying prestigious white-collar job and stop working altogether. Alternative: become a garbage man or janitor or sling hash in a diner.
22) Make appointment with dentist. Have front teeth removed.
23) Make appointment with surgeon. Have all hair on top of head removed through electrolysis. Let hair grow on sides and back.
24) Shave ONLY twice a week. Be careful to leave stubble at all times.
25) Bathe ONLY twice a week.
26) Begin intensive redneck language course. Do not use more than five words in a sentence. Drop all "NG" endings from words - "havin" instead of "having". Learn to yelp and whoop and holler.
27) Sell Porsche.
28) Buy used pickup.
29) Sell condo.
30) Buy dilapidated shack in backwoods and shotgun rack.
31) Give or throw away all remaining clothes: business suits, ties, shoes, socks, shirts, and accessories, including Burberry tuxedo, overcoat and patent leather pumps worn to corporate black tie events. NOTHING can be retained.
32) Sell stocks and bonds and give all proceeds from these and sale of car and home to a redneck charity. You will NOT need money.
33) Watch NASCAR and pro-wrestling every day. Do NOT miss any episodes.
34) Find wrecked car and leave in front of shack.
35) Have name changed legally from "Mark" or "Andrew" or "Kevin" to "Cletus" or "Bubba" or "Jed".
Congratulations! You, Sir, are now the Redneck you have always dreamed of becoming!
Al's Doggy World
Meaninings::
Kelly & Pheebs Corner
Al's Art Gallery
14) Strip off classy, expensive tailored Armani business suit, starched shirt and designer underwear. Toss in garbage can.
Note: Removal of business suit can be traumatic for an uppity upper class businessman. It is comparable to an operation. Be prepared for shock to system.
15) Add briefcase, cell phone and day-timer.
16) Cut up credit cards and throw away wallet.
17) Cut up Ivy League degree.
18) Put on overalls. Walk around in hem to get used to your new look.
19) Practice poor posture and sluggish walk.
20) Cancel subscriptions to Wall Street Journal and New York Times. Have cable disconnected.
21) If you have not already been fired, quit high-paying prestigious white-collar job and stop working altogether. Alternative: become a garbage man or janitor or sling hash in a diner.
22) Make appointment with dentist. Have front teeth removed.
23) Make appointment with surgeon. Have all hair on top of head removed through electrolysis. Let hair grow on sides and back.
24) Shave ONLY twice a week. Be careful to leave stubble at all times.
25) Bathe ONLY twice a week.
26) Begin intensive redneck language course. Do not use more than five words in a sentence. Drop all "NG" endings from words - "havin" instead of "having". Learn to yelp and whoop and holler.
27) Sell Porsche.
28) Buy used pickup.
29) Sell condo.
30) Buy dilapidated shack in backwoods and shotgun rack.
31) Give or throw away all remaining clothes: business suits, ties, shoes, socks, shirts, and accessories, including Burberry tuxedo, overcoat and patent leather pumps worn to corporate black tie events. NOTHING can be retained.
32) Sell stocks and bonds and give all proceeds from these and sale of car and home to a redneck charity. You will NOT need money.
33) Watch NASCAR and pro-wrestling every day. Do NOT miss any episodes.
34) Find wrecked car and leave in front of shack.
35) Have name changed legally from "Mark" or "Andrew" or "Kevin" to "Cletus" or "Bubba" or "Jed".
Congratulations! You, Sir, are now the Redneck you have always dreamed of becoming!
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| KELLY FIELDS A DEER PARK LODGE CALL |
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