A CAMERA FEATURE I HAVE USED A FEW TIMES BEFORE

It's starting to look like our January thaw may be upon us a wee bit early this year.  Or, could this be the first of two January thaws?  I certainly hope so.  Anyway, with a couple of inches of snow overnight and temperatures on the rise, I decided to grab my snow shovel and clear the driveway and paths.  Could have let the milder days ahead take care of that snow, but what the heck, I needed the exercise anyway.  Out I went, and an hour later, I had rearranged all the snow that was needing some serious rearrangement.  With not much else going on, I took a drive into Bayfield looking for a few photos.  

 LOOKS LIKE SOME KIND OF UPCOMING PROJECT IN THE BAYFIELD BEACH AREA

I THINK THE FELLA OPERATING THE MACHINE WAS NEW BECAUSE THE OTHER FELLA STANDING THERE WAS GIVING HIM INSTRUCTIONS

 OH-NO, IT LOOKS LIKE THE BIG MACHINE IS ABOUT TO GOBBLE UP THE LITTLE MACHINE

I have a lot of features on my Sony RX 10 camera, and I decided to utilize one of those features this morning.  It can take a picture in black and white, but whatever color I choose, it will highlight that color in the photo.  For example, if I see a red car and take a photo of it, the photo will be in black and white except for the red car.  The camera gives me a choice of four colors to choose from: red, yellow, green, and blue.  I have used this feature a few times before, but unfortunately, I keep forgetting I have it, as well as a bunch of other fine features.

Finally got up my tall ladder in the sunroom this afternoon to get after a few dust bunnies.  While up there, I cleaned the fan and put in a couple of new light bulbs.  Took a few iPhone pics of the sunroom below as well.

Al's Music Box:: Hallelujah by k.d. Lang. (one of my all-time favorite female singers)

 A FEW OUTSIDE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS IN THE SNOW

GROANER'S CORNER:(( A husband was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and whacks him on the back of the head with a huge frying pan.  "What the heck was that for!" he asked.  She replies, "I found a piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou written on it..." "Oh, dear, remember two weeks ago when I went to the horse races? Well, Marylou was the name of one of the horses I placed a bet on."  The explanation seems to have appeased her, and she leaves the room to go about her business.  Three days later, the man is again sitting in his chair reading the morning paper. His wife abruptly hangs up the telephone and then whacks him on the back of the head with the huge frying pan.  "What the heck did I do wrong this time!" he asked.  She answered, "Your horse just called!"

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According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally, the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.... She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian, who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators...

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Al's Doggy World

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Al's Art Gallery

NOT THAT I AM A BIG CELL PHONE USER OR ANYTHING, BUT HERE'S SOMETHING I RECOMMEND

 FEMALE CARDINAL

We had about three inches of snow overnight, so I was once again on the end of my snow shovel this morning.  All paths are shoveled now, and the driveway is clear.  Looking forward to a few above-freezing days, hopefully starting Tuesday, so maybe we can get rid of some more snow before the next big batch of the cold white stuff rolls in.  Weather report complete!!

 CAUGHT THE EAST END OF A BLUE JAY HEADING WEST PAST ONE OF THE BIRD FEEDERS

 NUTHATCH

Santa brought me something for Christmas that for anyone with a cell phone, I highly recommend.  It's called an Otterbox and it's a tough protective case for your phone and especially practical for people in work situations where the chances of dropping a phone are likely. I like the added grip it gives me and the added protection in case I drop the phone.  It was a bit of a willickers to get onto the phone, and I didn't have the patience for it, but just seconds before her patience ran out as well, Woodsy figured out how to reassemble two pieces and got it on.  I have a habit of carrying my phone in my shirt pocket, which makes it susceptible to damage by falling out of my pocket when I bend over.  But I've noticed the Otterbox cover seems to grip the shirt material, and the phone does not slide out as easily as it did before.  Plus, the open ports now have dust-prohibitive covers over them, and overall, I like the secure feeling of the Otterbox's non-slippery textured cover when in hand.  Not that I am a big cell phone user or anything...............

 TUCKED SNUGLY IN MY SHIRT POCKET ALONG WITH MY EVER-PRESENT NOTEBOOK AND PEN

 A RECENT PHOTO OF MY SON SEAN AND HIS LOVELY WIFE, KIM

Woodsy headed back to Stratford this afternoon for a few days.  The weather was clear, and the highway was bare.  After she left, I moved the Subaru out and shoveled all the accumulated salty road slush out of the carport.  Also hauled a tall 10-foot stepladder into the sunroom to get up and clean the ceiling fan and any cobwebs that may have gathered since I last did this nearly a year ago.  

 MALE CARDINAL

Al's Music Box:: Fire And Rain by James Taylor. 

GROANER'S CORNER:(( The Laws of Golf::

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former. 

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers. The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Topping a 3-iron is the most painful torture known to man.

LAW 9: Palm trees eat golf balls.

LAW 10: Sand is alive. If it isn't, how do you explain the way it works against you?

LAW 11: Golf carts always run out of juice at the farthest point from the clubhouse.

LAW 12: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.

LAW 13: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

LAW 14: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See Law three).

LAW 15: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 16: "Nice lag" can usually be translated to "lousy putt." Similarly, "tough break" can usually be translated "way to miss an easy one, sucker."

LAW 17: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you. 

LAW 18: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 19: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 20: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.

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David had been extremely anxious for years. It got to the point where his compulsive worrying was ruining his life, so he went to a psychiatrist, who recommended that David hire a professional worrier.  After he'd been working with the specialist for a few months, David's friend John noticed a change. "What happened?" John asked. "You don't worry about anything anymore."

"I hired a professional worrier!" David answered.  "That must cost a fortune," John said.  "Yes, he charges $3,000 a month," David said sheepishly.  "Three thousand dollars! How can you ever afford to pay him?" John exclaimed.  "I don't know," David said. "That's his problem."

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ONE OF THE LAST BASTIONS OF ENJOYABLE FREEDOM SHE HAS LEFT

Looking out the window first thing this morning I was heartened to see it not snowing and the wind not trying to topple the trees.  It didn't take me long to fire up Subie, and with camera in hand, off I went down Bayfield River Road, keeping an eye out for any color on this drab, cloud-shrouded, cold gray morning.  How nice, I thought to myself, to finally be back out into the countryside again, despite it only being the beginning of January.

For the second time in two days, and with a grocery list in hand, Woodsy and I later set out for Goderich.  Visibility was excellent, with mainly bare roads having only a few snowy stretches.  No problem for four-wheel or All Wheel Drive vehicles.  Walmart was busy like nuts again with a mosh of bumper carts in the store and bumper cars in the parking lot.  Luckily, we escaped unscathed.

 ORCHARD LINE WASN'T A PROBLEM FOR SUBIES ALL WHEEL DRIVE

Talked to Aunt Jean on the phone last night, and with not having one of her better days, she said it felt like her 98 years have finally caught up with her.  I sensed her discouragement at not being able to do the things she once could.  Aunt Jean has been on her own for most of her life and was accustomed to doing everything mainly by herself.  She golfed right up into her nineties, and by golly, she still drives her own car.  Matter of fact, when I called her last night, she had just driven home from her ladyfriend Pat's place through heavy Sarasota traffic.  She is seriously thinking of selling her Toyota Corolla in the Spring.  It only has 115,000 miles on it, and it's nearly twenty years old.  Deciding to sell her car is a major decision and has been on her mind for the past few years.  It's a difficult decision and one she has been struggling with.  To Aunt Jean, she feels it is one of the last bastions of enjoyable freedom she has left, besides ice cream before bedtime, and insisting on doing her own laundry every Saturday morning despite her facility's offer to do it for her..............      

Al's Music Box::  Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay by Otis Redding.

GROANER'S CORNER:(( LOST WORDS FROM OUR CHILDHOOD

 Murgatroyd!.. Do you remember that word? Would you believe the email spell checker did not recognize the word Murgatroyd? Heavens to Murgatroyd!

The other day a not so elderly (65) (I say 75) lady said something to her son about driving a Jalopy and he looked at her quizzically and said "What the heck is a Jalopy?" 

OMG (new phrase)! He never heard of the word jalopy!! She knew she was old...... but not that old. Well, I hope you are Hunky Dory after you read this and chuckle.
 
About a month ago, I illuminated some old expressions that have become obsolete because of the inexorable march of technology. These phrases included "Don't touch that dial," "Carbon copy," "You sound like a broken record" and "Hung out to dry."

Back in the olden days we had a lot of “moxie” We'd put on our best “bib and tucker” to “straighten up and fly right.”

Heavens to Betsy! Gee Whillikers!

Jumping Jehoshaphat! Holy Moley!

We were “in like Flynn” and “living the life of Riley..” Even a regular guy couldn't accuse us of being a knucklehead, a nincompoop or a pill. Not for all the tea in China!
 
Back in the olden days, life used to be swell, but when's the last time anything was swell?  Swell has gone the way of beehives, pageboys and the D.A.; of spats, knickers, fedoras, poodle skirts, saddle shoes and pedal pushers...

AND DON'T FORGET.... Saddle Stitched Pants.

"Oh, my aching back!" "Kilroy was here," but he isn't anymore.

We wake up from what surely has been just a short nap, and before we can say, Well, I'll be “a monkey's uncle!” Or, This is a “fine kettle of fish!”  We discover that words we grew up with, the words that seemed omnipresent as oxygen have vanished with scarcely a notice from our tongues and our pens and our keyboards.

Poof go the words of our youth, the words we've left behind.  We blink and they're gone.

Where have all those great phrases gone?

(My Favorite) "Let's all go to the beach Saturday".

Long gone: Pshaw, The milkman did it. Hey! It's your nickel Don't forget to pull the chain. Knee high to a grasshopper. Well, Fiddlesticks! Going like sixty. I'll see you in the funny papers. Don't take any wooden nickels. Wake up and smell the roses.

It turns out there are more of these lost words and expressions than Carter has liver pills. This can be disturbing stuff! ("Carter's Little Liver Pills" are gone too!)

We of a certain age have been blessed to live in changeable times. For a child each new word is like a shiny toy, a toy that has no age. We at the other end of the chronological arc have the advantage of remembering there are words that once did not exist and there were words that once strutted their hour upon the earthly stage and now are heard no more, except in our collective memory.  It's one of the greatest advantages of aging.

Leaves us to wonder where Superman will find a phone booth...

See ya later, alligator!

Oki Doki

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