|LOOKS LIKE A FEW CORN STALKS MAY HAVE SNUCK UNDER THE FENCE|
|I LIKE THIS BARN|
|I DON'T KNOW, JUST A NICE LOOKING WOOD BENCH SITTING BESIDE A CORNFIELD I GUESS|
|YES WE HAVE LOCAL YOKELS IN THE AREA AND MANY MOONS AGO I TOO WAS ONE OF THOSE YOKEL TYPES|
|MOVED THE RECLINER MORE IN-LINE WITH THE WALL AND THIS BASICALLY WILL BE OUR 'TRAVELING DOWN THE ROAD' SET-UP...WE WON'T BE TOWING THE JEEP ON ANY OF THESE VENTURES|
|I HAD HELP THIS AFTERNOON|
|DESPITE BEST EFFORTS OF KELLY, FRIENDS, ME, BLOG COMMENTERS, YOUNG TEENAGERS, GOOGLE, AND YOUTUBE, ETC. ETC. WE STILL HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO SET THE CLOCK|
Vladimir Putin is sitting at home when the phone rings. He picks it up and says "Hello". The voice at the end of the phone says "Hello Mr. Putin, it's Paddy here. I'm just ringing to let you know that we've declared war on your country." Putin smiles to himself, "Come on Paddy", he says, "there's no point you declaring war on us, you wouldn't stand a chance." Paddy replies, "No, no, we've had ourselves a meeting, and we've decided to declare war on you."So Putin says, "OK Paddy, now listen, I've got an air force of over ten thousand planes, what kind of air force have you got to match that? It'd be over in no time." So Paddy says, "Well my lad's got himself a hot-air balloon, and my brother used to work at an airport." Putin laughs, "Oh come on, you've not got a hope". "Hold on a sec, Mr. Putin, ", Paddy says, "we'll just have a quick meeting." So off he goes and has a quick meeting. "Are you still there Mr. Putin? So Vladimir Putin says, "Right then Paddy, well you know, as well as the air force, we've also got about ten thousand tanks. How are you going to match that." "Well," Paddy says, "I've got an old Austin, and my cousin down the road has got a tractor." "Get real, " says Putin, "that's no match at all." So Paddy says, "Hold on, I'll just go and have another meeting." "Are you still there Mr. Putin? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're still going to declare war." Vladimir Putin thinks this is just amazing, "Well how many soldiers have you got Paddy?". "Well," says Paddy, "there's me, my kid, me 4 cousins, and they all had sons, and there's Bill down the road.... I reckon I could get together about 30." Laughing openly now Putin replies, "Come on Paddy, I've got a hundred thousand highly trained fighting men at my disposal. I think you'd better go and have another meeting." "I will", says Paddy, "I will."
"Are you still there Mr. Putin? Yes, well we've had our meeting, and we've decided that we're not going to declare war on you after all." "At last, " replies Vladimir Putin, "What made you change your mind?" "Well, it's those hundred thousand soldiers you see. We can't declare war on you because we've not got the facilities to keep all those prisoners!"
Little Henry sits at the dinner table. He reaches for his plate, picks up a chicken leg, and starts to eat. His mother says, "Henry did you wash your hands?" Henry replies, "No! I don’t want my chicken to taste like soap, mom!"