Sunday, December 26, 2021

A CHANGE OF PLANS FOR KELLY TODAY

 PATIENTLY WAITING FOR SPRING
Sometimes the best-laid plans of mice and men, or in this case, mice and women, can go astray.  And so it was with Kelly's plans to see her children and grandchildren today in Cambridge Ontario.  Although our weather is fine today with bare roads and clear visibility, such is not the case for tomorrow.  Kelly had planned to leave today and spend the night at her daughters and come home Monday.  It's 80 miles one way.  This morning our weather station issued a winter advisory alert for Monday calling for blowing snow, freezing rain, and just plain rain.  Kelly decided not to go to Cambridge.  Wise decision.  Instead, she headed off to a second daughter's house in Kitchener (Ella) late this morning and will return home later this afternoon.  

 LOOKS LIKE GOOD TIMES AT ELLA'S HOUSE TODAY AND THE QUILT KELLY IS HOLDING WAS MADE BY HER GREAT GREAT GRANDMOTHER....KELLY PASSED IT ON TO HER DAUGHTER REBECCA
Not a stitch of snow around anywhere as Pheebs and I took a short drive into Bayfield where I picked up a bag of carrots at Foodland.  A blog reader commented last week that orange juice has more sugar in it than carrots so I have eliminated orange juice in my morning shakes and will once again add carrots.  And besides, the addition of carrots adds a nice rose-colored look to the shake.  It takes away the yukky green look.  Oh, and I made it through this morning without dumping my veggie shake all over the kitchen counter again.  Now, how's that for progress eh.  I'd say I'm on a winning streak now.  By golly, how long will it be until NASA calls and wants me to come down to Florida and head up their new astronaut program:))

 FEMALE CARDINAL
 NEW KID ON THE BLOCK
With only a slight breeze in the 34F air, a walk around the sheltered Bayfield cemetery roads was in order for Pheebs and I.  It's always nice walking there because it's rare to see anybody.  By the looks of the new Bayfield Bridge, it doesn't look like it will be too long before they open it to the public.  After they do that their next big project will be to dismantle the temporary Bailey Bridge that has been handling traffic for well over a year now.

 NOT ALL CANADA GEESE GO SOUTH FOR THE WINTER
 AND THE PIER JUMPER WAS BACK IN THE WATER TODAY AND IT LOOKS LIKE HE MAY BE CONTEMPLATING PADDLING ACROSS LAKE HURON TO THE STATE OF MICHIGAN
NOTICED THIS ON OUR CEMETERY WALK
I REALLY LIKED THE INSCRIPTION ON THIS TOMBSTONE
LOOKING SOUTH ACROSS THE NEW BAYFIELD BRIDGE
 LOOKING NORTH
Kelly made it home just short of 6 p.m. and said she didn't have any problem driving in the dark.  And she got to see some Christmas lights along the way to boot.

GROANER'S CORNER:((   A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.  "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"  "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."  "You sell them here?" the customer asks.  "Only $4 apiece," says Green.  The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.  "You didn't eat enough, " says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry.  "Hey, Green," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!"  You see?" says Green. "You're getting smarter already!"

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A tiny but dignified old lady was among a group looking at an art exhibition in a newly opened gallery. Suddenly one contemporary painting caught her eye.
He smiled condescendingly. "That, my dear lady, is supposed to be a mother and her child."  "Well, then," snapped the little old lady, "why isn't it?"

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Saturday, December 25, 2021

A FOGGY CHRISTMAS MORN

Thanks to everyone for all the Christmas wishes.  Always appreciated by we three here at the Bayfield Bunch.  Three? Yep, Kelly, Pheebs and me:))

Temperatures climbed during the night leaving us with no snow on the ground Christmas morning.  But, what it did leave us with was a bit of fog for a few hours.  A short Jeep ride for Pheebs and I down to the east end of Bayfield River Road and back.

Prior to Christmas Eve, Kelly whooped us up a big turkey supper with all the fixins.  Pecan pie for dessert of which I only had a small piece.  I have to watch my waistline now you know.

This morning I managed to upset myself so bad that I couldn't even think straight.  For the second time in about five days I totally upset my morning veggie shake and this time it was all over our countertop and right into where we had our Christmas cards sitting.  At least nothing on the floor this time. I made basically the same dumb mistake I had made just days previously.  I set my full shake glass on the counter to my right, reached forward to retrieve a bottle of vitamin pills, and then clipped the plastic glass with my right elbow spilling the entire contents.  Well, I was just about fit to be tied.  Luckily, Kelly and Pheebs were out for their morning walk and missed my ensuing kitchen tirade.  Why-oh-why-oh-why am I being so clumsy these days.  What the heck is going on!!  Of course, knowing myself as well as I do I had to lump in a few other jaunty faults as well while I was at it.  Ongoing short-term memory, occasional bouts of momentary confusion, and impatience just to name a few.  I guess a poor night's sleep didn't help me much either:((  Well hey, I have to try and blame it on something!!  As far as the rest of the day went, I managed to hang in long enough to most assuredly guarantee to upset myself another day:((

GROANER'S CORNER:(( Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"M John says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."  "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"  "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."

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What is the difference between boogers and spinach?  You can't get your kids to eat spinach.

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Friday, December 24, 2021

FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOUR HOUSE...'A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS'

Well, here we are and it's another Christmas Eve already.  It seemed to come up very fast this year but then again, time seems to be going faster than ever these days.

 OUR HOUSE WAS LOOKING QUITE SNOWY WHEN PHEEBS AND I ROLLED OUT THIS MORNING
 OUR GOOD NEIGHBOR MONICA'S BURGUNDY BENCH
 OUR PARK'S MAILROOM
 A FEW NICE HOMES AND PROPERTIES ALONG THE WAY
We had about an inch and a half of snow overnight so everything was white again when we got up.  Temperatures were soon above the freezing mark and the snow became crunchy underfoot.  Lots of dripping going on as the snow slowly began melting today.  And tonight we have rain on the way.  

 PHEEBS AND I TOOK OURSELVES OUT FOR A WALK ALONG THIS BUSH LANE
 TRACKS IN THE SNOW AND THEY WERE NOT PHEEBS
 I THINK A DEER MAY HAVE TAKEN A BITE OUT OF THIS APPLE ON THE GROUND
 PHEEBS AND I HAVE BEEN TO THIS WOODLOT CAMPSITE BEFORE BUT NOT IN WINTER
A WEE WINTER'S TABLE FOR TWO
 IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY YOU CAN SEE AN OLD IRON GATE
 'OKAY, WATCH ME JUMP  INTO THE JEEP DAD'
 AND THERE SHE GOES
The bulk of Kelly's family live in the Kitchener/Cambridge area and she is planning on heading over there on boxing day Sunday to see four out of five of her children, their spouses, and grandkids.  They will be having a family gathering at her daughter's place.  She plans to stay over and head home Monday. With all those people gathered together for a big turkey dinner Sunday afternoon it wouldn't be a fun thing for Pheebs so I will be staying home with her.  I don't mind, I'm quite happy to spend my time at home with my best Pal:))  And here's a catchy little Christmas song that I like to play for myself every Christmas Eve.  Driving Home For Christmas by Chris Rea.

GROANER'S CORNER:((   Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged……………….

- Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
- Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
- Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
- Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me
- Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......
- Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me
- Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
- Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...
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Shortly before Christmas, a business man was anxious to get home. The business trip had been grueling and he was not in a particularly good mood. The airport loudspeakers blared Christmas carols he was sick of hearing. He thought their decorations were tacky. The worst decoration, he thought, was the plastic mistletoe hung over the luggage scale.  Being in a grumpy mood, he said to the woman at the counter, "You know, even if I weren't married, I wouldn't kiss you."  "That's not what it's there for," said the attendant. "It's so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."

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Q. How is the Italian version of Christmas different?
A. One Mary, one Jesus, and 32 Wise guys.
Q: How come you never hear anything about the 10th reindeer "Olive" ?
A: Yeah, you know, "Olive the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names"
Q: What was so good about the neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
A: It was already wound up.
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When you consider Christmas, there are four stages in your life:-
1) You believe in Santa
2) You don't believe in Santa
3) You are Santa
4) You look like Santa

Christmas is just plain weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room eating candy and snacks out of your socks?

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