PERIWINKLE ON THE FOREST FLOOR |
BOTHERED BY SCIATICA IN HER RIGHT LEG, LORRAINE STOPS AT THIS FOREST BENCH TO EXERCISE HER RIGHT LEG |
COLTSFOOT FLOWERS ALONG THE WAY |
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports is like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Crying is blackmail.
5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
9. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
11. You can either ask us to do something. Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
16. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine . . . . Really.
19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or tanks.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22. Every dish can be improved with bacon.
23. Do not trust a man who calls the bathroom "the little boys room."
24. Women who sound sexy on the phone weigh 350 pounds.
25. No talking at the urinal.
26. A man may own exactly one pair of holiday-themed boxers.
27. Never date a woman whose father calls her "princess."
28. A PBS tote bag does not make you an intellectual.
29. The weirder the cell phone ring, the more annoying the person.
30. Real men don't dance.
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It's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.
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Meanings::
Kelly's Corner
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CHECKING THE MENU AT ONE OF OUR MANY FAVORITE 'CRACKER BARRELS' ALONG THE WAY |
I THINK THERE IS SOME SMOOCHES GOING ON OVER THERE
Al's Art Gallery KELLY KEEPS UP TO DATE ON HER LAPTOP
So glad Pheebs was able to go on your walk today. What a sweet girl. And poor Woodsy...sciatica is bloody awful. Good for you for staying active, despite its pain. Lovely pics again of Angel Kelly.
ReplyDeleteBarb M.
Al, wonderful pictures as usual; loved ' Men's Rules '. 😁
ReplyDeleteSciatica is soooo painful I have had it since I was 25, and well over 65.
So much amazing love visible in the Kelly & Pheebs “smooches” photo! 🥰 Lovely to get out for a walk.
ReplyDeleteLovely post tonight. Great photos of Miss Pheebs, what a sweet girl. Your gallery photos were so really super and the Black Lab in action was amazing. Thank you Al for all your efforts, they are really appreciated.
ReplyDeleteSweet Pheebs - such a grand senior lady.
ReplyDeleteGlad all three of you could get out for a walk - it still looks pretty cold! Good to see sweet Pheebs out to find some interesting smells. Love her Kelly smooches :-) Great gallery, especially love the campfire kitties and the umbrellas on the stairs.
ReplyDeleteAl, your blog is absolutely my favorite one to read. I look forward every day to
ReplyDeletebeing able to partake of it. You have a good eye for photography & your jokes
have me laughing and sharing them with my husband too. I am gob-smacked
with your art gallery & admit to save quite a few to my pics. file & make some
of them my wallpaper & screen saver every other day, as they make me smile
or remind me of something I enjoy. Please keep on blogging Al, your really
great at it. Take care of yourself and Pheebs, also glad you found a good
friend in Woodsey. Love Melynda.